Uh-oh, my wife discovered eBay...

“ARE you ready…?” I ask for like the twenty-seventh time as we slowly head towards the door.

“Nearly, veeerrry nearly…” Jacks replies.

“Just wait 21, 20, no… 19 seconds…”

“Huh?”

“YES!” Cue Jacks punching air in triumphant fashion.

“I won!!!”

“Huh?!”

Yep, that was the moment last month when I inadvertently discovered my wife had firmly discovered eBay.

Dear lord.

The next week-and-a-half was a standout time in the Nichols casa in the 16 months since we moved to England.

You see, I now know that pairs of women’s knee-high boots, chunky warm jumpers and most long ‘dressy’ dresses just won’t fit through most front door letter box.

I know this for a fact.

And I know because every day for what seemed like an age I came home from work to find one, two, three… maybe five… Royal Mail ‘sorry we missed you’ cards posted through the door.

Some of these cards even mentioned the fact that ‘5’ items are “waiting for you”.

You've got (a lot of) mail

Wow.

It took maybe a week for me to determine the extent of my wife’s new found love of eBay.

And by that time we’d already been to the Royal Mail sorting office five or six times to pick up the various items of post. 

At one point the beleaguered-looking chap behind the counter stated that Jacks had set a “new record” with 36 items ready to pick up in one hit. I nearly had to rent a van.

Parcel force

You see, as I found in Mexico, it’s not easy to order something for delivery like that.

Tijuana didn’t - to my knowledge - boast a reliable Royal Mail equivalent. And then I was told things often go missing.

The alternative is to get something delivered to a friend across the border in the States who can then re-deliver. But of course it’s a ball-ache just for you to get your post.

So yes, as Jacks settles properly into English life, with its penchant for consumerism, I guess it was only a matter of time before one (wo)man’s junk became her treasure.

I’m as much to blame as anyone having amounted quite a sizeable collection of G1 Transformers toys during a nostalgic phase I went through, plus an absolute boat-load of All Saints gear.

Boy do we need a bigger house.

So I mentioned before that I’ve been a bit slack on the blogging front.

You see, when you’re living in a different country with different culture, food and people, it’s easy to feel inspired.

When you come back to everything you know it’s difficult to create that same level of creative spark.

Jacks and I have discussed switching up the blog so we shine a light on her English experiences but we’re not quite there yet… 16 months down the line.

So instead I guess it’s up to me to pick out the amusing bits of life here in England as we experience new things for the first time.

Like the time a couple of months ago when we went to see Jacks’ beloved ponies on Dartmoor – and how we go one stuck in the car.

I guess it’s also worth mentioning that the summer is now pretty much ‘over’ in England – aside from some miracle occurrence.

Did we see 30 degrees in Plymouth? Did we f*ck.

Did Jacks actually feel warm at all this summer? Nope.

This is pretty summer defined in Plymouth (and indeed the UK as a whole): 

We did buy a frikkin 14ft-long sea kayak though (ahem... as a tool to make us make the most of the outdoors regardless of the weather...)

Oh, readers interested in hearing how our chili crop is going this year will be pleased to see that our jalapenos are finally producing! And there’s more to come.

From this...

To this!

Beauties!

Right, we’re off to explore and find inspiration!

Greetings peeps! Play nice ;-) x

@tristan_nichols

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

OKAY… deep breath…

I’m leaving San Diego and returning to the UK.

There, it’s now a matter of public record.

In fact, I’m not only leaving San Diego… I’m leaving the TV career in the US and returning to writing – at The Herald in Plymouth.

Now those that know me, and my background, will also know the meaning in that statement.

Because, when I do eventually arrive back in the UK – and The Herald – my life will have gone full circle in just two years.

You see, I left my home country and my job of 13+ years at The Herald in May 2012 to move to Tijuana to be with my girlfriend.

That girlfriend is now my wife, and we’re returning to live and settle in the UK together.

“Love it,” a former (and soon to be current again) colleague emailed me recently.

“Go there, get the girl (defeat the baddy) and return home triumphant.”

Cue credits.

Yes, it is – and has been – like a film script.

Only there really wasn’t a baddy. At least, not yet.

For those that don’t know, my contract and job here in San Diego effectively ended last month with the announcement that U-T TV was being pulled off air.

I can’t really say too much about that.

Plug pulled on U-T TV

If I can coin a Crowded House lyric: “… it was good while it lasted, but now it has gone, so face up to what you have done”.

I’m having to leave the US as my visa is tied to the current job, and it’s non-transferable.

Once my employment ends in a couple of weeks, I have 30 days to leave the country.

Unfortunately, there’s no passing ‘go’ to collect $200.

We could move to Mexico but we figure that our lives will be better served, and more comfortable, in England.

Besides, Jacks still holds the belief that England is the “land of fairytales and castles,” and she misses seeing the wild ponies on the moor. (Strange but true).

Also true... I’ve honestly missed The Herald. I’ve missed the excitement and buzz of landing an ‘exclusive’ story.

I’ve missed the pride I felt in seeing my byline on the front page of my local paper.

I know only too well that certain people will see this move as a ‘fall from grace’.

I can almost hear those individuals now callously remarking “yeh, he thought he was ‘all that’ and now look at him”.

Well, more fool them.

I left to love a girl. That was all. And now, having won her heart and gained her hand in marriage, I’m the real winner.

Everything else… the TV anchorman job in San Diego, California; the apartment in ‘America’s ‘finest city’; the lovely life in the lovely climate… it was all an unexpected bonus.

For a time it was cool. And I mean REALLY cool.

I dared to dream, and now this next chapter is ours to write.

Sadly with any drastic change comes fall-out.

Since the announcement concerning U-T TV last month, Jacks and I have had to – piece-by-piece – rip apart the life we began building for ourselves here just 11 months ago.

I’m sitting on the floor writing this as we’ve just sold the computer desk and chair.

We’ve sold most of our (briefly) cherished wedding gifts, and thrown a lot of stuff in the trash.

I woke up last week and went to sit down to have breakfast, and then realized I’d sold the breakfast bar chairs the day before.

I constantly look up at the space on the wall where the clock used to be to check the time.

Jacks arrives home daily to ask um… where’s this or that…?

You get the picture.

It’s been a horrible and stressful time, day-after-day seeing another part of our home gone.

We’ve been sad, but we’ve always had our eyes wide open.

A colleague of mine who will remain nameless (okay, Cory) said to me a couple of weeks ago: “In the last two years have you ever really had it ‘easy?’ Really?”

“No,” I answered with a sigh.

“Well then, are you really surprised about your situation now?”

*cue raised eyebrows and nod of agreement.

Jeez, some people turn to booze and hard drugs in such situations.

I’ve run out of my Golden Virginia tobacco stash… and I hear that the share price of Starbucks has hit an all-time high.

In fact such has been my caffeine intake in the last month I’ve managed to earn a ‘gold’ member Starbucks loyalty card in just three weeks.

I’ve drunk so much coffee I swear I now sweat decaf.

Badge of honour - the Starbucks 'gold' card

The last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster akin to a frikkin Martin Scorsese movie (minus the booze and hard drugs).

Oh, and of course I’m forgetting to mention the fact that at the same time as seeing out my notice at the U-T - and our notice on the apartment - we’re also in the process of applying for a ‘spouse’ visa to allow my other/better half to live with me in the UK.

You’d think it’d be a given that your ‘wife’ would have some sort of automatic entitlement… how wrong we were.

I’ll get to that in one of the next blogs. And believe me, there’s going to be a few.

So there it is. I’m sorry for the delay in posting a new blog.

So much has happened, and it’s been difficult to write about things and situations which have been evolving minute-by-minute.

Sometimes things don’t work out the way we ultimately plan them but hey, we don’t make the rules we just play the game.

 Twitter: @tristan_nichols