"Superstition ain't the way, no, no, no..."

IF WE were superstitious we’d probably never have agreed to hold such a life-changing event on Friday 13^th.
But then again, my grandfather was born on Friday 13^th and he was the most amazing person to make an appearance in my life.

So, what better day to get MARRIED.

Yes, enough of the fun and games, it’s time to be all grown-up, and to exchange vows.

That day will be the culmination of a dream. A dream we’ve both been dreaming with our eyes wide open for little over 18 months.

You know the story by now right…?

We met on Myspace and emailed back and forth for seven YEARS before finally meeting and falling in love? We never spoke on the phone before we met on ‘vacation’, never Skyped, never texted… just emailed.

Cue English boy saying goodbye to all his family and friends, quitting his nice life in the UK, and moving to Tijuana - of all places - to be with the beautiful Jacky.

Imagine You’ve Got Mail, but more tacos than Tom Hanks.

As readers of this blog will know I proposed on top of the London Eye last Christmas at the tail-end of Jacky’s first ever visit to Europe.

Diamonds are forever

The idea of me proposing, overlooking the capital of my country, and offering her a ring from her home country, was too priceless a moment to dismiss.

Anyhow within a couple of months of us arriving back into Jacky’s family home in Mexico, I got news that U.S. Immigration were finally going to let me in to accept the job at U-T TV in San Diego.
I had to move to San Diego in April, leaving behind Jacky in Tijuana because - as a Mexican citizen with a tourist visa - she couldn't legally live with me.

So since April we’ve been continuing our cross-border relationship, literally only seeing each other at weekends.

While this might sound like a fairly ‘normal’ situation for some couples whose lives are governed by work, our situation is far from ideal.

To visit me in San Diego, Jacks has had to wait in line at the San Ysidro border for anything up to five hours, in doing so wasting much of a two-day weekend we would have otherwise spent together.

San Ysidro is the busiest border crossing in the world. Fact. And it’s dirty, loud and generally horrible.

The San Ysidro border - dirty, loud, and generally horrible

While Jacks has applied for a special ‘Sentri’ pass to enable her to pass quicker, we’ve decided to push ahead and get married to avoid any more delays and frustration.

That way we can finally live together legally here on this side of the border.

So we’ve booked our date in San Diego as oppose to Tijuana.

Has any one of you ever tried to get married abroad? In a non-English speaking country? Without booking it all through a dedicated wedding agency?

It’s a nightmare.

In fact, it’s worse than a nightmare. And it seems no two people can give you the same answer about how to go about booking everything, and making sure everything is actually legal.

If you Google it, you’ll get literally 101 reasons ‘not’ to marry in Mexico.

Every forum poses as many questions as answers. And they’re mostly from ‘Senor Steve’ in Mexico City.

We initially looked into getting married in Baja California (the northern tip of Mexico), but it quickly became apparent that the stress involved would be too great.

I’m pretty sure that most weddings involving one-half of the couple being a foreigner to Mexico will end in divorce given the hassles presented.

From what we eventually established, to get married in Mexico I would have to:

a). Take a blood test to ensure that I don’t have Aids;

b). Go to a mandatory marriage guidance group – BEFORE the actual wedding;

c). Fly home to the UK to get original ‘official’ documents (Can you imagine asking your mum to source your original birth certificate 35 years after being born?!);

d). Pay for someone (undoubtedly a lawyer) in Mexico to translate the above ‘official’ documents at a stupidly inflated price; and

e). Pay someone else a whole bunch of money to do a handful of things we never really got to the bottom of…

By the time we worked out that we would need to do all of the above and more, just to get married in Mexico, we were ready to put the whole thing on the back burner for a time.

But then, as if by magic, I ended up downtown in the San Diego County Administration Building on a job for U-T TV.

The San Diego County Administration Building

“It’s a sign,” my cameraman said to me glancing up at the wall in the entrance.

And sure enough, it was a ‘sign’. It was a sign to say that the ‘marriages’ department was upstairs.

I popped up, explained that I was a “British guy” with a “Mexican fiancée” who wanted to get married and the response…?

“Why don’t you just do it here…?”

No blood tests, no official documents needed, no translation, and no need to book the divorce hearing at the same time as the wedding.

Job done.

So yes… come rain or shine, (who am I kidding this is California!) we’re getting married on the lawn in front of the ocean on Friday 13^th September, 2013.

In six-and-a-half weeks’ time no less.

While of course we’d love to see all our family and friends, we understand that – due to work commitments and money – it’s simply not possible.

But given the unusual nature of our Anglo-Latin relationship, we’re pressing ahead because we simply want to be ‘together’ – without needing to stand in line and show our passport.

Jacky is the reason I'm here after all.

So Friday 13^th… Crazy. Beautiful. Madness.

“When you believe in things that you don't understand…

Then you suffer…

Superstition ain't the way, no, no, no…” – Stevie Wonder - Superstition


Twitter: @tristan_nichols

Animal magic

WITNESSING the 'big five' on an African safari, watching humpback whales gleefully leaping out of the ocean, photographing an endangered bird in its natural habitat.
All the above are great, but if catching a glimpse of a Tijuana zebra-donkey isn't on that 'things to do before you die' list then it might as well be void.
Is it a zebra? Is it a donkey? Is it actually a horse with a seriously bad case of mistaken identity?!
Who knows... but the mystical creatures live on the streets of downtown TJ like four-legged gods walking among mere men.
In all seriousness if you're a tourist, no trip to downtown TJ would actually be complete without a picture of one of the hapless sun-baked animals.
And on visiting Avenida Revolucion you’ll be hard-pressed to avoid seeing one – not least being pushed onto one by its owners desperate to grab your cash for a photograph.
I'd heard about them before from Jacks but I didn't actually realise how famous they are. Their existence in the city is woven into the fabric of Tijuana's identity.
The zebra-donkey has become something of a cultural icon here over the decades and people actually travel from far and wide just to see one - even internationally.
Two or three of the animals are paraded around certain spots on a daily basis in front of a cart containing enough colourful sombreros, throws and rugs, to make your eyes water.

Stranger than fiction - behold the zebra donkey

Okay, kids if you don't want to know the truth look away now... the 'zebra donkey' is basically a white donkey which has black stripes painted on it. It's as simple as that.
And people love it so much they have even daubed huge neon pictures of them on shop fronts.

The 'zonkey' expertly presented by Jacks

When I first heard about the animal I thought it was linked to some bizarre legend Tijuana, or indeed Baja California.
But it seems there is no legend.
The truth is in fact stranger than fiction.
A quick scan of the internet states that the bizarre idea to actually paint the stripes on the animals came about in the age of black and white photography so that the animals stood out in the tourists' pictures.
Despite the invention of cameras which could take colour photographs, the animal graffiti stayed.

Personally I question whether back in the day the donkeys got on to their agents demanding more recognition for their role in the tourist trap?
They must be the laughing stock of the farm when they return home after a hard day's work!
What made me laugh even more was the discovery of some websites which are actually claiming that these animals are in fact a "unique breed" - much like the people who try to force you into having your photograph taken with them.

So is it too early to say 'Happy Christmas?!' Well, there you have it!

'hat's about it...

I DON’T know about you but I simply can’t take someone who wears a cowboy hat seriously.

Here in Mexico I’d say that about one in 10 men you meet will be wearing one. Proudly too.

They even do the tip of the cap thing when saying ‘hola’ in true Clint Eastwood style.

And I can’t help but smile or worse still, laugh uncontrollably.

I just want to call them “pardner” or say “yee har” when I agree with what they’re saying.

Sometimes I actually have to stop myself from asking “what have you come as?”

Seriously, it’s weird – simply because if you saw a man wearing a traditional cowboy hat walking down the street in England, he’d probably have a gang of tooled-up chavs behind him in close pursuit.

If you're really lucky you could get the chance to see someone wearing not only the hat, but also the boots, belt and hideously over-sized buckle, and leather waistcoat.

Oh, and of course the magnificent moustache.

I’m guessing that the cowboy thing stems from the ‘Wild West’ way of life here in Baja California.

The Western films were based on that way of life so now, is life imitating art, or is art imitating life?

I’m not sure.

Play it again Sam...

Behind the sombreros (sombrero means ‘hat with a brim’ in Spanish Mexican) is also the deep-rooted love of traditional Mexican music.

It’s called ‘banda’ or ‘nortena’,  and it’s the type of music which makes Jacky pull the most extreme unappreciative face I’ve ever seen on a person.

Eighty per cent of the Mexicans here seem to love it. Like a religion in fact.

They drive around in their cars day and night with windows down blasting it out like they’re the coolest people on the planet.

When they pull up within eye shot they give you that cocky look as if to say “yeh, you know it”.

And I think “yep I certainly do”.

That style of music should be used as a weapon in war.

It incorporates acoustic guitars, drums, possibly trumpets and, of course accordions.

Click on this link and you’ll get some idea: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1uipWnRvEA.

Now, it would be unfair to say that I ‘hate’ it because that’s a strong word.

To me, it’s not big and it’s not clever. I’d rather listen to AC/DC.

I don’t mind it, but when you hear it all day every day you can’t help but begin to despise it.

The fact that the music goes hand in hand with the sombreros, and the fact that someone like me - who is clearly not from round here - is targeted by the traditional musicians on the street several times a day when out and about, only adds to my feeling of discontent.
It is worth pointing out that people also listen to American or English music (notably British rock music) and Mexico does have some pretty cool rock bands, but most people seem to listen to banda or nortena.

So anyway today marks the 13^th date since I ran out of Golden Virginia tobacco.

It also marks the 13^th day since I last had a cigarette.

Cold turkey….? No sweat (literally), which is strange after 16 or so years as a full-time smoker.

Sure I could go and buy some horrible pack of smokes but I like what I like, so I’ve decided to quit until I get some more tobacco back home.

I live in Tijuana, why would I want my sense of smell back?!

Well, I’d rather wait.

Eight days until Jacky meets my mum and dad!