"Superstition ain't the way, no, no, no..."

IF WE were superstitious we’d probably never have agreed to hold such a life-changing event on Friday 13^th.
But then again, my grandfather was born on Friday 13^th and he was the most amazing person to make an appearance in my life.

So, what better day to get MARRIED.

Yes, enough of the fun and games, it’s time to be all grown-up, and to exchange vows.

That day will be the culmination of a dream. A dream we’ve both been dreaming with our eyes wide open for little over 18 months.

You know the story by now right…?

We met on Myspace and emailed back and forth for seven YEARS before finally meeting and falling in love? We never spoke on the phone before we met on ‘vacation’, never Skyped, never texted… just emailed.

Cue English boy saying goodbye to all his family and friends, quitting his nice life in the UK, and moving to Tijuana - of all places - to be with the beautiful Jacky.

Imagine You’ve Got Mail, but more tacos than Tom Hanks.

As readers of this blog will know I proposed on top of the London Eye last Christmas at the tail-end of Jacky’s first ever visit to Europe.

Diamonds are forever

The idea of me proposing, overlooking the capital of my country, and offering her a ring from her home country, was too priceless a moment to dismiss.

Anyhow within a couple of months of us arriving back into Jacky’s family home in Mexico, I got news that U.S. Immigration were finally going to let me in to accept the job at U-T TV in San Diego.
I had to move to San Diego in April, leaving behind Jacky in Tijuana because - as a Mexican citizen with a tourist visa - she couldn't legally live with me.

So since April we’ve been continuing our cross-border relationship, literally only seeing each other at weekends.

While this might sound like a fairly ‘normal’ situation for some couples whose lives are governed by work, our situation is far from ideal.

To visit me in San Diego, Jacks has had to wait in line at the San Ysidro border for anything up to five hours, in doing so wasting much of a two-day weekend we would have otherwise spent together.

San Ysidro is the busiest border crossing in the world. Fact. And it’s dirty, loud and generally horrible.

The San Ysidro border - dirty, loud, and generally horrible

While Jacks has applied for a special ‘Sentri’ pass to enable her to pass quicker, we’ve decided to push ahead and get married to avoid any more delays and frustration.

That way we can finally live together legally here on this side of the border.

So we’ve booked our date in San Diego as oppose to Tijuana.

Has any one of you ever tried to get married abroad? In a non-English speaking country? Without booking it all through a dedicated wedding agency?

It’s a nightmare.

In fact, it’s worse than a nightmare. And it seems no two people can give you the same answer about how to go about booking everything, and making sure everything is actually legal.

If you Google it, you’ll get literally 101 reasons ‘not’ to marry in Mexico.

Every forum poses as many questions as answers. And they’re mostly from ‘Senor Steve’ in Mexico City.

We initially looked into getting married in Baja California (the northern tip of Mexico), but it quickly became apparent that the stress involved would be too great.

I’m pretty sure that most weddings involving one-half of the couple being a foreigner to Mexico will end in divorce given the hassles presented.

From what we eventually established, to get married in Mexico I would have to:

a). Take a blood test to ensure that I don’t have Aids;

b). Go to a mandatory marriage guidance group – BEFORE the actual wedding;

c). Fly home to the UK to get original ‘official’ documents (Can you imagine asking your mum to source your original birth certificate 35 years after being born?!);

d). Pay for someone (undoubtedly a lawyer) in Mexico to translate the above ‘official’ documents at a stupidly inflated price; and

e). Pay someone else a whole bunch of money to do a handful of things we never really got to the bottom of…

By the time we worked out that we would need to do all of the above and more, just to get married in Mexico, we were ready to put the whole thing on the back burner for a time.

But then, as if by magic, I ended up downtown in the San Diego County Administration Building on a job for U-T TV.

The San Diego County Administration Building

“It’s a sign,” my cameraman said to me glancing up at the wall in the entrance.

And sure enough, it was a ‘sign’. It was a sign to say that the ‘marriages’ department was upstairs.

I popped up, explained that I was a “British guy” with a “Mexican fiancée” who wanted to get married and the response…?

“Why don’t you just do it here…?”

No blood tests, no official documents needed, no translation, and no need to book the divorce hearing at the same time as the wedding.

Job done.

So yes… come rain or shine, (who am I kidding this is California!) we’re getting married on the lawn in front of the ocean on Friday 13^th September, 2013.

In six-and-a-half weeks’ time no less.

While of course we’d love to see all our family and friends, we understand that – due to work commitments and money – it’s simply not possible.

But given the unusual nature of our Anglo-Latin relationship, we’re pressing ahead because we simply want to be ‘together’ – without needing to stand in line and show our passport.

Jacky is the reason I'm here after all.

So Friday 13^th… Crazy. Beautiful. Madness.

“When you believe in things that you don't understand…

Then you suffer…

Superstition ain't the way, no, no, no…” – Stevie Wonder - Superstition


Twitter: @tristan_nichols

One quick question before the world ends...

HANG on a minute… mad scramble to look out of window… the world didn’t end after all!

Uh oh, it seems I’m now in a whole heap of trouble.

You see, with the fear of impending doom I might just have done something a tad crazy…

Of course I’m kidding.

In the early afternoon of Monday 17^th December 2012, at the very top of the ascension of the London Eye, looking out over my nation’s capital, I went down on one knee and asked Iliana Jaqueline Pantoja if she’d marry me.

I cried. She laughed, and then cried. And then the other people in the Eye’s capsule applauded, laughed, and cried too.

My proposal went something like this: “If the world truly does end in four days I don’t want to think that I missed the opportunity to ask if you’d marry me… So, with that in mind, will you marry me?”

Her immediate response was “Oh my god, oh my GOD…”

I obviously had to ask, “is that a yes or a no?!”

Jacks then said ‘yes’ not once, but six times.

“Yes, yes, yes… si, si, SI!!!!” she replied.

On top of the world

"If you like it then you should put a ring on it"

All those months of me freaking out about the slightest of details quickly dissolved into laughable anecdotes.

The moment was perfect. The weather on that day was crisp, clear and beautiful. We were together alone in our own private universe and, of course, she said ‘yes’.

Jacky could be heard again muttering "oh my god, oh my GOD!!!!"

That day marked the culmination of pretty much nine months of planning and preparation on my part.

From the very moment I met Jacks back in March I knew I had to have her.

After those sunny days in Playa Del Carmen for me, everything was leading up to this magical moment.

Our story is so unique and perfect. Even we find it all hard to believe. (For those who are unaware of the background click on the first blog entry).

I had a few ideas of how I wanted to propose, but I settled on proposing on the London Eye.

I liked the idea of traditionalism.

I bought the ring in Tijuana having shopped around in the UK, the US and Mexico. I liked the idea that she would be wearing something sourced from her home.

I wanted to signify our cross-Atlantic connection by proposing in my home country – and doing so while suspended above the country’s capital seemed perfect.

Moments before the proposal

My beautiful fiancée

Of course there was also the nice hook of Jacky's Mayan ancestors predicting the world ending in a few days’ time.

I know some people have raised eyebrows mentioning that we’ve only been together for little over 10 months but hey, in the (sort of) words of Beyonce “if you like it then you should put a ring on it”.

Those people can, quite simply, bugger off.

Yes, our relationship is under a year old, but the fact is I've spent 34 years looking for her. When you know, I guess, you know.

It’s funny how things work out. And it was truly bizarre that I actually bought and picked up the ring on the same day as Jacky’s sister’s boyfriend proposed to her.

Oh talking of traditions, the moment I asked Jacky’s dad for permission for his daughter’s hand in marriage was a moment of comedy genius.

I tried to ask in Spanish. But, having quickly realized I could quite easily slip up and ask for the family dog’s paw in marriage I resorted to my native tongue.

As history now dictates he agreed – he even mentioned it first which pre-empted my question.

Oh and here’s a reflection and a point that’s very rarely mentioned.

Everyone talks about THAT moment. You know, how exactly did you propose? Where were you? Did you go down on one knee? That sort of thing.

But what no-one ever talks about is what happens AFTER that moment.

Sure, there’s the hugging, kissing and crying bit. And the round of applause, if it’s a public proposal.

But how do you maintain the buzz? How do you match that level of intensity having asked the one question you hope never to ask again?

I have to admit to feeling a bit lost and in a slight flutter in the hour or so after that moment.

Should I have packed champagne? Should I be carrying her? Should I burst into song?!

Jacks was a little less intimidated it seemed, and made what now appears to be the obvious choice – to continue smiling and laughing.

There, a short distance away from the London Eye was a Mr Bean lookalike.

So we initially celebrated our engagement by goofing around with the character in front of an audience of dozens.

Mr Bean strikes again

I think that says a lot about us.

Oh, and just in case anyone thinks I’m a tight b*stard for not buying champagne, we then went on a boat cruise down the Thames followed by ice skating at the Natural History Museum. (Note: my practical interpretation of ice 'skating' was more ice falling).

Ice ice baby

Skating on thin ice

We then had dinner at an Italian restaurant at Leicester Square to reflect on the craziest day of our lives yet.

Fun times indeed.

So there you have it.

Before any more people ask ‘do you have a date?’ The answer is ‘no’.

It won’t be this year (obviously), and probably not next year.

I need to sort this job/visa thing out, and we need to save some serious cash.

Oh, and the ring is a traditional diamond solitaire ring. The ‘rock’ is just short of half a carat and the ring is 14ct white gold.

Jacky's bling

For now though I hope this brings a smile to some faces and I, well… we, hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a very happy New Year.

Keep dreaming guys.

Crazy beautiful madness.

P.S. Holy shit, I have a fiancée!!!!!!!!!