Musings of an Englishman who literally quit his life in Devon in mid-2012 to move to Tijuana to love a girl.
They ended up in San Diego where he became a TV anchorman (yes really...), they got married, and now they're living in England together.
Simple as that really.
Follow your heart, who knows where it will lead.

Crazy. Beautiful. Madness.

Saturday, 17 August 2013

De-stressing a wedding

THE DICTIONARY definition of 'marriage' is the 'legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife' (depending of course on the state or country you live in).
What the dictionary fails to mention is all the bits before and in-between which threaten to de-rail your life like a horribly expensive runaway train.
The stress, the chaos, the planning, the intricate delicate flower button holes…
Our take on our wedding – sod a lot of the usual bullsh*t. It’s about us, it’s our turn to be selfish, and to enjoy our moment as we want.
No stress. No bullsh*t. Just smiles.
Yes, by now our plans for the wedding are in full flow.
Date set (Friday 13th September), venue booked, honeymoon paid for.
*cue brief sigh, content expression and placing of feet on foot rest*

And... relax

It’s funny how men and women differ in terms of their mental state for such an occasion.
(And I know full well that female readers of this blog will roll their eyes and consider me a 'typical' male).
But given the unusual nature of how we came together, I feel like any stress on my side leading up to such an event has already been expended.
Quitting the comfortable lifestyle in the UK, moving continents to be with the ‘one’, adapting to life in a Mexican home, spending seven months trying to get the U.S. visa to allow me to accept the TV job, finding and buying the engagement ring, planning the proposal etc etc.
All THAT was stressful.
The wedding for me is a walk in the park!

Stress: Banned

Simply agree and say ‘I do’ with everything that the registrar asks right?
Well, I’m trying not to let it stress me out in any case.
By now I’ve been to, and experienced, enough weddings in my time to understand how NOT to do it.
In this case less is not more in terms of stress.

Not the image we want associated with our wedding!

Wedding ring shopping a few weeks’ back in Tijuana…
Me: “That’s nice, that’ll do.”
First jewellery shop, first ring I looked at. Job done.
Jacky: “What do you think of this one? Or this one? Or this one?! Shall we get them engraved?”
Yes, Jacks is taking the lead on this one.
Whatever she wants, I’m happy with. I’d tattoo my finger, or wrap a lollipop stick around it if that’s what she wants.
Thankfully I’ve not been a part of the search for the wedding dress.
Jacks spent the best part of a month in two different countries, as well as online, searching for THE ‘perfect’ dress.
Of course a month isn't that long given the seriousness of the dress situation.
No stone left unturned. The Holy Grail would have been easier to stumble across I'm sure.
Despite the obvious stress it was causing my future spouse, I couldn’t help but sit back and feel lucky I wasn’t allowed to be part of it.
So now she has the ‘perfect’ dress.
And what does Jacks want to do now? Make ‘adjustments’ to make it even more perfect.
I have no idea what to expect. But suffice to say, she’ll look amazing even if she wore a bin liner.
Note Jacks… this is an expression NOT a suggestion!
It’s her moment to be a princess.
And I’m just happy she’s finally, nearly, happy. Nearly.
My mum has also been going pretty crazy with the idea of it all – among other things designing and making flower button holes, and then skyping me simply to show me.
Note mum, for the record… they look fab.
My brother has also been asking if we should be “co-ordinated” in what the men are wearing.
I may sound pretty nonchalant about everything and it’s fair to say I’m pretty laid back about the ‘big’ day.
I’m organised, I’m determined, and I’m feeling good.
My cameraman joked – to the horror of his girlfriend – that he wouldn’t wear a suit to the occasion. Would I care?! No way! We’re in California man!
You want to rock up in boardies and flip flops - do it!
My mum doesn’t quite see it that way but give it a few days over here and she’ll fit into the groove I’m sure.
I’m just giving myself a big old personal high-five that I’ve found the most amazing girl in the world, and that she wants to publicly state that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I mean… ME!
So yes, getting married away from our normal ‘homes’ allows us some amount of freedom and peace.
I mean, we don’t have to go to church; attend marriage guidance classes (that was the scenario if we opted for marriage in Mexico!); organise a huge stag/hen do; or pay for a hundred people we really don’t care that much about to be fed and watered!
Instead we have a simple theme, a lovely setting, with people here who have helped us along the way. And we have more money for the honeymoon.

The setting for our wedding (the building faces the ocean)

It will be stripped back and perfect, allowing us – to a certain degree – to be selfish and let the hectic world revolve around us for a single moment in time.
Our moment is made by us, for us.
San Diego and TJ are, by their very nature, transient places.
So us, as foreigners, getting married here seems to be the perfect set up.
And we can’t wait!
Actually I have to tell you all a pretty funny anecdote from a couple of months ago.
So after deciding to get married downtown at the administration building, we popped down to get our license for the occasion.
While we were sat there most (it seemed) of Southern California’s news networks, presenters and photographers rushed into the office in a frantic rush.
In a bizarre moment of fate the woman registrar dealing with us looked up and asked “are these here for you…?!”
We couldn’t help but laugh.
It turned out, that on that very afternoon, a ban on gay marriage in California had been lifted.
We walked out of the office after getting our license feeling like we were on the red carpet at Cannes with – I’m sure – many of the presenters wondering if I was actually there to book my ‘civil’ wedding to my ‘partner’.
I hope they’re reading this now just to clear up any confusion!
So yes, all systems go…
A month to go and I’m still pinching myself, as is Jacks, that we’re not actually living a dream.
That’s how it feels. A dream, within a dream.
Oh, on a side note can I also just say a quick thank you to all you lovely people who have been reading this blog over the past year.
We’re now well past 10,000 page views in 30+ countries.
It seems ‘Crazy Beautiful Madness In Mexico…’ is really popular in Germany, Russia, Latvia, South Korea, Canada and Hong Kong… as well as Mexico, the UK and the US.
Who’d have thought it! I can't believe it!
Each and every one of you is a part of this magical story.
Thanks for lending me your eyes!
Sending you all much love x