Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

OKAY… deep breath…

I’m leaving San Diego and returning to the UK.

There, it’s now a matter of public record.

In fact, I’m not only leaving San Diego… I’m leaving the TV career in the US and returning to writing – at The Herald in Plymouth.

Now those that know me, and my background, will also know the meaning in that statement.

Because, when I do eventually arrive back in the UK – and The Herald – my life will have gone full circle in just two years.

You see, I left my home country and my job of 13+ years at The Herald in May 2012 to move to Tijuana to be with my girlfriend.

That girlfriend is now my wife, and we’re returning to live and settle in the UK together.

“Love it,” a former (and soon to be current again) colleague emailed me recently.

“Go there, get the girl (defeat the baddy) and return home triumphant.”

Cue credits.

Yes, it is – and has been – like a film script.

Only there really wasn’t a baddy. At least, not yet.

For those that don’t know, my contract and job here in San Diego effectively ended last month with the announcement that U-T TV was being pulled off air.

I can’t really say too much about that.

Plug pulled on U-T TV

If I can coin a Crowded House lyric: “… it was good while it lasted, but now it has gone, so face up to what you have done”.

I’m having to leave the US as my visa is tied to the current job, and it’s non-transferable.

Once my employment ends in a couple of weeks, I have 30 days to leave the country.

Unfortunately, there’s no passing ‘go’ to collect $200.

We could move to Mexico but we figure that our lives will be better served, and more comfortable, in England.

Besides, Jacks still holds the belief that England is the “land of fairytales and castles,” and she misses seeing the wild ponies on the moor. (Strange but true).

Also true... I’ve honestly missed The Herald. I’ve missed the excitement and buzz of landing an ‘exclusive’ story.

I’ve missed the pride I felt in seeing my byline on the front page of my local paper.

I know only too well that certain people will see this move as a ‘fall from grace’.

I can almost hear those individuals now callously remarking “yeh, he thought he was ‘all that’ and now look at him”.

Well, more fool them.

I left to love a girl. That was all. And now, having won her heart and gained her hand in marriage, I’m the real winner.

Everything else… the TV anchorman job in San Diego, California; the apartment in ‘America’s ‘finest city’; the lovely life in the lovely climate… it was all an unexpected bonus.

For a time it was cool. And I mean REALLY cool.

I dared to dream, and now this next chapter is ours to write.

Sadly with any drastic change comes fall-out.

Since the announcement concerning U-T TV last month, Jacks and I have had to – piece-by-piece – rip apart the life we began building for ourselves here just 11 months ago.

I’m sitting on the floor writing this as we’ve just sold the computer desk and chair.

We’ve sold most of our (briefly) cherished wedding gifts, and thrown a lot of stuff in the trash.

I woke up last week and went to sit down to have breakfast, and then realized I’d sold the breakfast bar chairs the day before.

I constantly look up at the space on the wall where the clock used to be to check the time.

Jacks arrives home daily to ask um… where’s this or that…?

You get the picture.

It’s been a horrible and stressful time, day-after-day seeing another part of our home gone.

We’ve been sad, but we’ve always had our eyes wide open.

A colleague of mine who will remain nameless (okay, Cory) said to me a couple of weeks ago: “In the last two years have you ever really had it ‘easy?’ Really?”

“No,” I answered with a sigh.

“Well then, are you really surprised about your situation now?”

*cue raised eyebrows and nod of agreement.

Jeez, some people turn to booze and hard drugs in such situations.

I’ve run out of my Golden Virginia tobacco stash… and I hear that the share price of Starbucks has hit an all-time high.

In fact such has been my caffeine intake in the last month I’ve managed to earn a ‘gold’ member Starbucks loyalty card in just three weeks.

I’ve drunk so much coffee I swear I now sweat decaf.

Badge of honour - the Starbucks 'gold' card

The last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster akin to a frikkin Martin Scorsese movie (minus the booze and hard drugs).

Oh, and of course I’m forgetting to mention the fact that at the same time as seeing out my notice at the U-T - and our notice on the apartment - we’re also in the process of applying for a ‘spouse’ visa to allow my other/better half to live with me in the UK.

You’d think it’d be a given that your ‘wife’ would have some sort of automatic entitlement… how wrong we were.

I’ll get to that in one of the next blogs. And believe me, there’s going to be a few.

So there it is. I’m sorry for the delay in posting a new blog.

So much has happened, and it’s been difficult to write about things and situations which have been evolving minute-by-minute.

Sometimes things don’t work out the way we ultimately plan them but hey, we don’t make the rules we just play the game.

 Twitter: @tristan_nichols

De-stressing a wedding

THE DICTIONARY definition of 'marriage' is the 'legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife' (depending of course on the state or country you live in).
What the dictionary fails to mention is all the bits before and in-between which threaten to de-rail your life like a horribly expensive runaway train.

The stress, the chaos, the planning, the intricate delicate flower button holes…

Our take on our wedding – sod a lot of the usual bullsh*t. It’s about us, it’s our turn to be selfish, and to enjoy our moment as we want.

No stress. No bullsh*t. Just smiles.

Yes, by now our plans for the wedding are in full flow.

Date set (Friday 13^th September), venue booked, honeymoon paid for.

*cue brief sigh, content expression and placing of feet on foot rest*

And... relax

It’s funny how men and women differ in terms of their mental state for such an occasion.

(And I know full well that female readers of this blog will roll their eyes and consider me a 'typical' male).

But given the unusual nature of how we came together, I feel like any stress on my side leading up to such an event has already been expended.

Quitting the comfortable lifestyle in the UK, moving continents to be with the ‘one’, adapting to life in a Mexican home, spending seven months trying to get the U.S. visa to allow me to accept the TV job, finding and buying the engagement ring, planning the proposal etc etc.

All THAT was stressful.

The wedding for me is a walk in the park!

Stress: Banned

Simply agree and say ‘I do’ with everything that the registrar asks right?

Well, I’m trying not to let it stress me out in any case.

By now I’ve been to, and experienced, enough weddings in my time to understand how NOT to do it.

In this case less is not more in terms of stress.

Not the image we want associated with our wedding!

Wedding ring shopping a few weeks’ back in Tijuana…

Me: “That’s nice, that’ll do.”

First jewellery shop, first ring I looked at. Job done.

Jacky: “What do you think of this one? Or this one? Or this one?! Shall we get them engraved?”

Yes, Jacks is taking the lead on this one.

Whatever she wants, I’m happy with. I’d tattoo my finger, or wrap a lollipop stick around it if that’s what she wants.

Thankfully I’ve not been a part of the search for the wedding dress.

Jacks spent the best part of a month in two different countries, as well as online, searching for THE ‘perfect’ dress.
Of course a month isn't that long given the seriousness of the dress situation.
No stone left unturned. The Holy Grail would have been easier to stumble across I'm sure.

Despite the obvious stress it was causing my future spouse, I couldn’t help but sit back and feel lucky I wasn’t allowed to be part of it.

So now she has the ‘perfect’ dress.

And what does Jacks want to do now? Make ‘adjustments’ to make it even more perfect.

I have no idea what to expect. But suffice to say, she’ll look amazing even if she wore a bin liner.

Note Jacks… this is an expression NOT a suggestion!

It’s her moment to be a princess.

And I’m just happy she’s finally, nearly, happy. Nearly.

My mum has also been going pretty crazy with the idea of it all – among other things designing and making flower button holes, and then skyping me simply to show me.

Note mum, for the record… they look fab.

My brother has also been asking if we should be “co-ordinated” in what the men are wearing.

Pfah.

I may sound pretty nonchalant about everything and it’s fair to say I’m pretty laid back about the ‘big’ day.

I’m organised, I’m determined, and I’m feeling good.

My cameraman joked – to the horror of his girlfriend – that he wouldn’t wear a suit to the occasion. Would I care?! No way! We’re in California man!
You want to rock up in boardies and flip flops - do it!

My mum doesn’t quite see it that way but give it a few days over here and she’ll fit into the groove I’m sure.

I’m just giving myself a big old personal high-five that I’ve found the most amazing girl in the world, and that she wants to publicly state that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I mean… ME!

Eek.

So yes, getting married away from our normal ‘homes’ allows us some amount of freedom and peace.

I mean, we don’t have to go to church; attend marriage guidance classes (that was the scenario if we opted for marriage in Mexico!); organise a huge stag/hen do; or pay for a hundred people we really don’t care that much about to be fed and watered!

Instead we have a simple theme, a lovely setting, with people here who have helped us along the way. And we have more money for the honeymoon.

The setting for our wedding (the building faces the ocean)

It will be stripped back and perfect, allowing us – to a certain degree – to be selfish and let the hectic world revolve around us for a single moment in time.

Our moment is made by us, for us.

San Diego and TJ are, by their very nature, transient places.

So us, as foreigners, getting married here seems to be the perfect set up.

And we can’t wait!

Actually I have to tell you all a pretty funny anecdote from a couple of months ago.

So after deciding to get married downtown at the administration building, we popped down to get our license for the occasion.

While we were sat there most (it seemed) of Southern California’s news networks, presenters and photographers rushed into the office in a frantic rush.

In a bizarre moment of fate the woman registrar dealing with us looked up and asked “are these here for you…?!”

We couldn’t help but laugh.

It turned out, that on that very afternoon, a ban on gay marriage in California had been lifted.

We walked out of the office after getting our license feeling like we were on the red carpet at Cannes with – I’m sure – many of the presenters wondering if I was actually there to book my ‘civil’ wedding to my ‘partner’.

I hope they’re reading this now just to clear up any confusion!

So yes, all systems go…

A month to go and I’m still pinching myself, as is Jacks, that we’re not actually living a dream.

That’s how it feels. A dream, within a dream.

Oh, on a side note can I also just say a quick thank you to all you lovely people who have been reading this blog over the past year.

We’re now well past 10,000 page views in 30+ countries.

It seems ‘Crazy Beautiful Madness In Mexico…’ is really popular in Germany, Russia, Latvia, South Korea, Canada and Hong Kong… as well as Mexico, the UK and the US.

Who’d have thought it! I can't believe it!

Each and every one of you is a part of this magical story.

Thanks for lending me your eyes!

Sending you all much love x


@tristan_nichols

"Superstition ain't the way, no, no, no..."

IF WE were superstitious we’d probably never have agreed to hold such a life-changing event on Friday 13^th.
But then again, my grandfather was born on Friday 13^th and he was the most amazing person to make an appearance in my life.

So, what better day to get MARRIED.

Yes, enough of the fun and games, it’s time to be all grown-up, and to exchange vows.

That day will be the culmination of a dream. A dream we’ve both been dreaming with our eyes wide open for little over 18 months.

You know the story by now right…?

We met on Myspace and emailed back and forth for seven YEARS before finally meeting and falling in love? We never spoke on the phone before we met on ‘vacation’, never Skyped, never texted… just emailed.

Cue English boy saying goodbye to all his family and friends, quitting his nice life in the UK, and moving to Tijuana - of all places - to be with the beautiful Jacky.

Imagine You’ve Got Mail, but more tacos than Tom Hanks.

As readers of this blog will know I proposed on top of the London Eye last Christmas at the tail-end of Jacky’s first ever visit to Europe.

Diamonds are forever

The idea of me proposing, overlooking the capital of my country, and offering her a ring from her home country, was too priceless a moment to dismiss.

Anyhow within a couple of months of us arriving back into Jacky’s family home in Mexico, I got news that U.S. Immigration were finally going to let me in to accept the job at U-T TV in San Diego.
I had to move to San Diego in April, leaving behind Jacky in Tijuana because - as a Mexican citizen with a tourist visa - she couldn't legally live with me.

So since April we’ve been continuing our cross-border relationship, literally only seeing each other at weekends.

While this might sound like a fairly ‘normal’ situation for some couples whose lives are governed by work, our situation is far from ideal.

To visit me in San Diego, Jacks has had to wait in line at the San Ysidro border for anything up to five hours, in doing so wasting much of a two-day weekend we would have otherwise spent together.

San Ysidro is the busiest border crossing in the world. Fact. And it’s dirty, loud and generally horrible.

The San Ysidro border - dirty, loud, and generally horrible

While Jacks has applied for a special ‘Sentri’ pass to enable her to pass quicker, we’ve decided to push ahead and get married to avoid any more delays and frustration.

That way we can finally live together legally here on this side of the border.

So we’ve booked our date in San Diego as oppose to Tijuana.

Has any one of you ever tried to get married abroad? In a non-English speaking country? Without booking it all through a dedicated wedding agency?

It’s a nightmare.

In fact, it’s worse than a nightmare. And it seems no two people can give you the same answer about how to go about booking everything, and making sure everything is actually legal.

If you Google it, you’ll get literally 101 reasons ‘not’ to marry in Mexico.

Every forum poses as many questions as answers. And they’re mostly from ‘Senor Steve’ in Mexico City.

We initially looked into getting married in Baja California (the northern tip of Mexico), but it quickly became apparent that the stress involved would be too great.

I’m pretty sure that most weddings involving one-half of the couple being a foreigner to Mexico will end in divorce given the hassles presented.

From what we eventually established, to get married in Mexico I would have to:

a). Take a blood test to ensure that I don’t have Aids;

b). Go to a mandatory marriage guidance group – BEFORE the actual wedding;

c). Fly home to the UK to get original ‘official’ documents (Can you imagine asking your mum to source your original birth certificate 35 years after being born?!);

d). Pay for someone (undoubtedly a lawyer) in Mexico to translate the above ‘official’ documents at a stupidly inflated price; and

e). Pay someone else a whole bunch of money to do a handful of things we never really got to the bottom of…

By the time we worked out that we would need to do all of the above and more, just to get married in Mexico, we were ready to put the whole thing on the back burner for a time.

But then, as if by magic, I ended up downtown in the San Diego County Administration Building on a job for U-T TV.

The San Diego County Administration Building

“It’s a sign,” my cameraman said to me glancing up at the wall in the entrance.

And sure enough, it was a ‘sign’. It was a sign to say that the ‘marriages’ department was upstairs.

I popped up, explained that I was a “British guy” with a “Mexican fiancée” who wanted to get married and the response…?

“Why don’t you just do it here…?”

No blood tests, no official documents needed, no translation, and no need to book the divorce hearing at the same time as the wedding.

Job done.

So yes… come rain or shine, (who am I kidding this is California!) we’re getting married on the lawn in front of the ocean on Friday 13^th September, 2013.

In six-and-a-half weeks’ time no less.

While of course we’d love to see all our family and friends, we understand that – due to work commitments and money – it’s simply not possible.

But given the unusual nature of our Anglo-Latin relationship, we’re pressing ahead because we simply want to be ‘together’ – without needing to stand in line and show our passport.

Jacky is the reason I'm here after all.

So Friday 13^th… Crazy. Beautiful. Madness.

“When you believe in things that you don't understand…

Then you suffer…

Superstition ain't the way, no, no, no…” – Stevie Wonder - Superstition


Twitter: @tristan_nichols